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Working on 2 images at the moment, but honestly i need to let off a tad bit of feelings. Minor rant so feel free to remove this from your inbox if you want. Sometimes though, people like to see what's on my mind. Sometimes it lets them know they aren't the only one in the same boat and such.
It's been about 8 months into this little 'anthropomorphic' art transition from my primary sonic influence work. Honestly, I feel stuck in a no-man's land between them. I've had issues getting in-tune with the anthro side of things with relations with artists (and huge lack thereof) and me losing even more touch with the sonic side, and I honestly feel really distanced both artwise and connection-wise. I see progress on alot of my stuff but sometimes I feel like I'm really disillusioned to my own work, as in the 'i think im good, but what if I'm really not very good at all' sort of thing. To be real, I thought i'd be alot further along skillwise and in me being able to truly connect with other artists and fandom-goers on the anthropomorphic side. Instead i feel like i'm stranded in the middle of nowhere. I dunno...
I've always been super afraid of turning out like artists who are full of themselves and as such I judge myself very very harshly. I never ever want to be overconfident with my ability to draw and such, and as a result I often think that I'm really not very good at all. At this point, I really think that the best thing is to stop evaluating my skill level entirely (but with college applications and stuff coming up again, I can't leave that mindset) and even then, my feelings and emotions always conflict with my logic of 'stop judging your art like that'. Not sure if it's due to my rather.... dead experience with Furaffinity and the lack of anything happening there (my original intent was to go there and try to expand my audience with them, but instead, since I dont draw 'sexual themes' at all, everything flumped pretty hard). I've seen what alot of artists have done transition-wise and how successful it worked for them, but for me it feels rather that I stranded myself. Logically I know that this isnt too much of the case, but it doesn't keep me from feeling that way at all. Personally I find alot of satisfaction in seeing my work make an impact with other people (I don't want to sound shallow, but really I do find a great sense of accomplisment in that regard) and lately it just doesnt feel that way. Might be due to infrequency of uploads, increased time per image, etc, but when 22 hours is considered a minimum work-time on an image, you can kinda guess that when it sputters in the end, I get a bit down on it (let's face it, we all do).
It'll pass. It always does, but I just want to see my ideas and my creations go the extra mile, as that's what I feel goes into making them in the first place. Although I'm probably overthinking things again.
Sorry to bother you guys with this rubbish. I'll have some art coming this week. I plan to finish all owed artwork before I draw for myself.